Happy New Year to you all! ☆ I was planning on sharing my new year's resolutions yesterday, but instead I started the new year by getting ill. In none of the past years I really thought of new year's resolutions, mostly because I didn't view a new year as substantially different from an old year, but this year was different: the last few weeks of 2016 were kinda rough, so I was much looking forward to having a quiet Christmas break - and with that grew a feeling that when Christmas break would be over, I would have a fresh start. So that's when I started thinking about what bad habits I owned that should be changed in order to be able to fully benefit from such a fresh start. Those thoughts are jotted down above. I could come up with considerably more new year's resolutions than I thought I would be able to. But I guess there's always something that can be improved about oneself.
1. Clean up shit after using it in order to avoid terrible mess in house
If I'm good at a 99 things, housekeeping is not one of them. I am terribly lazy, especially when it comes to cleaning up after myself. I would rather drop everything exactly where I stand and then have a huge clean-up by the end of the week, but it is nearly impossible to live like that. Not to mention that I am now sharing an apartment with someone else who is not very fond of my stuff lying around all over the house (but often keen enough to clean up after me). So I have decided, to keep my house a decent place to live in and to spare my partner the burden, to clean up my stuff more frequently and more thoroughly.
2. Spend more quality time with boyfriend
Ever since I'm in college I am literally so busy that it is rationally impossible to be in a relationship right now, but I assume that love always comes when least wanted. Anyhow, even though me and my partner moved in together this past year, we don't spend much time together, even though we are together a lot. Due to my crazy life style, Mitchell suffers from a complete lack of attention at times, and that's quite unfair. So we really need to schedule more quality time together in which we pay true undivided attention to each other.
3. Take better care of bank account
I actually started putting this one into action at the beginning of this academic year and it went considerably well until December approached and I spent a zillion of euros on Christmas gifts. January is always the worst month, and now I can't even rely on my saving account because I drew it blank to buy a new DSLR camera for which I'd saved money in a wave of ecstasy. Not the greatest timing indeed. Anyhow, this year I want to continue keeping a close eye on my expenses and document it if possible, so I know where I went wrong if I did. I hope this will be the year that I will surprise my parents for not knocking on their door (as often) to ask for some extra cash to keep me alive.
4. Solve procrastination problem
This is probably the most ambitious resolution of all, and certainly the most vague. Because my name is Sabine and I am a procrastinator. Big time. I wait to do a lot of things until the very last minute and it's killing me. How to solve the 'procrastination problem'? Well, by doing things immediately instead of pushing it forward. I may only hope that my dedication is strong enough to hold on, but if so it will certainly safe me a lot of trouble this year!
5. Get rid of supposed dysania
Dysania is a (not formally recognized) condition in which one finds it extremely difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I'm not sure I'm having it, but yet I'm sure I'm having it. What else would explain my morning-issues? It's not that I'm just liking my bed way too much to leave it - usually I won't even wake up. I can set an alarm every 5 minutes and I won't hear one. I'm not even sure what my alarm sounds like! It's much like I'm in a deep, deep coma, even when I've already slept for the recommended amount of hours. You can slap me, pull my blanket, drag my leg, but I won't wake up. Instead, I would most likely yell, talk, curse, try to hit you, all while I am still fast asleep, and I won't remember anything, or I remember parts of it although rather as a spectator than as the actor. Usually when you keep bothering me for about half an hour I would finally awake (yet you can't be sure that I won't fall back in a deep sleep right after). This all didn't really bother me so much before, but since I live by myself I am sometimes more asleep than awake, which means I'm wasting my life on sleep a lot. I tried a lot of things, including accepting that this is my forever fate, so what's there left to do? I was thinking about seeing a doctor or specialist or some guru, and just hoping that someone can tell me how not to sleep so ridiculously deep.
6. Eat a minimum amount of unhealthy food so it doesn't show on belly
Confession: I eat incredibly unhealthy during the day. It's not that I eat too much, but too much from what I eat is not particularly healthy. I don't really care for pounds, but my goal is to make sure that those calories don't show on my stomach (or double chin) by attempting to eat less junk food. Though I am not going to quit it entirely - that would make my life quite depressing - just lowering and controlling the amount of unhealthy food that I consume.
7. Don't tell people I'm about to start going to the gym - because I'm not
This year is about accepting that I am disgusted by doing sports and stop thinking that I will start doing sports again. There's a million things I want to do in 24 hours and doing sports would be the last on the list. I just don't enjoy it at all. I might start doing sports if there comes a day that I can't think of literally a single alternative thing to do, but I don't think I've ever had such a day in my life so I don't expect I ever will. And it's quite okay if I don't do sports - I'm not even fat and if I die from a lack of movement that's okay.
8. Continue blogging at this pace while staying true to myself and keeping it fun
I'm quite satisfied about how much I manage to publish on my blog each month. I aim at a post every other day, but if it's a little bit less that's okay as well, because I would always rather publish nothing than something that I qualitatively don't fully agree with. I hope I can hold on to this pace this year and most importantly that I can stay true to myself and keep it fun. I hope that I will never ever publish something because I think it's what other people would like to see on my blog. This is my blog in the first place and I love to think of my blog as the ultimate freedom - I can publish whatever and whenever I like, without taking into account other people's opinions or wishes. Like, I don't really believe anyone would be truly interested in my new year's resolutions, but I like to write about it and have it on my page (and they say you'll be more likely to stick to your resolutions when you share them with others). Of course it pleases me when other people enjoy reading my blog, but it is not my main purpose to entertain others - to me blogging is mostly a way to express myself, and I enjoy blogging so much that I would be very disappointed if I would publish something without finding joy in it.
9. Start having "phone breaks" in which phone must be turned off & put away, in order to become less phone addicted & to get more rest
I'm pretty sure this is something a lot of people should do besides me, for one's own good. My smartphone has become so important in my life - I use it to quickly contact people, check my email, keep lists, set an alarm, check what time it is, keep up with what's going on with the world, keep up with my social contacts, take photos, literally everything. It's just so time-saving! I would not wish for a world where there are no phones, but I do think that I should have more phoneless hours in my life. I already never use my phone in situations were social standards wouldn't allow it (using your phone while having dinner with someone is like the rudest thing of this century!), but yet I could do with a lot less of my smartphone. Not so much because I don't enjoy things anymore because of my phone, but more because I feel that I could use some more time in which I have no clue what's going on in my friends' lives and the world. More importantly: even when I'm not exactly on my phone, it's always close to me so that whenever someone tries to reach me, I'm online in a sec. I feel that sometimes I can't really get some rest because people can reach me 24/7 and so they will - and so I never get rid of 'work'-stuff. Partly due to my phone, work-stuff is constantly on my mind, and even when I'm in the middle of some work-related stuff, I get contacted for some other work-related stuff and it's driving me crazy sometimes. So that's why I'm thinking about shutting down my phone around some time at night so I will finally be truly left alone, and give my mind some rest.
10. Take more rest in general
Following the previous, I must take more rest in general. I like to be busy and I always want to do more things than there is time for, and lately it has been too much. Ever since last september I've been suffering from weird headaches and extreme fatigue, and even though this occurs even when I'm not having that much on my mind, symptoms are getting worse when I've been busy or stressed. So for my health's sake, I should take it easy more often and give myself some rest. Not so much physically, for I am in bed a lot of times already due to tiredness or not being able to wake up, but rather mentally - I should not plan so many things or try to cram my schedule to the minute. It sucks so bad that I will never be able to do all that I'd like to do, but I know that I need to set priorities before I'm breaking down.
11. Read more books instead of Facebook-posts etc.
I used to read far more than I do nowadays. Since college makes me read so much stuff already, I often don't feel like reading for fun anymore. Instead I brain-death read a lot of social media posts, which are often far more boring and far less satisfying than actual literature. I realized that I don't want to spend so much of my precious time to dull social media posts, but rather on actual interesting books - my to-read list is ever-growing, and how am I ever going to let it shrink if I waste all those reading-minutes to social media? So I'm thinking about making a To-Read list for 2017 and sharing it on here later.
12. Pick up writing & write more
When I was younger I knew for sure that I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. Later it occurred to me that chances were small that I could live from that alone, so I decided that even though I still wanted to write, I would only write besides another job. Now writing prose wasn't my priority anymore, my perfectionism took over and I only wanted to write whenever I had worked out the perfect story or had enough time to make it perfect - of course I never really did either, so I didn't get much practice in the past few years which I thoroughly regret. Once I wrote so carelessly and with utmost ease, and now it is as if I'm suffering from a constant writer's block! I don't want to let something that I once considered as my best skill go to waste, and to do so, I will have to pick up my pen and write again. Just write - even if it's not perfect, it's practice. I need to remember that.
Besides these bad habits and other things that I should improve to myself and my life, I have a clear view on I want to spent the year 2017. These are the three most important things that my 2017 will consist of:
- Learn new things2017 will be the year that I'm turning 20 years old, the year that I leave my teenagehood and become a 20-something. My 20th birthday is an event that I am dreading ever since my last. Turning 20 is frightening to me, and I have never felt so uncomfortable with an age before. It is almost as if I'm having some sort of a midlife-crisis, although at quite a strange age. Here's the deal. I remember vividly when I was fifteen years old. Much has changed ever since, but still I can't grasp where time has gone. And I have a feeling that each year goes by faster than the previous. If my life will go on at the same pace, I will be 25 years old in no time. It is common knowledge that from 25 years on, brain speed slowly seizes - and it will be more difficult to learn new things after the age of 25, not to mention that someone over 25 probably doesn't have much time to learn new things because of a career and/or parenthood. Five years I have to learn the thousand of things that I would want to learn in this life! So I have come to the conclusion that it is now or never: I have to start doing all the things I want to do before I am too old and be like "oh shit, where has my life gone?" and be sad and die. So I'm planning on taking a couple of courses to learn new skills that will contribute to my self-development and self-fulfillment, because I can't think of another goal that a human life holds.
- Travel more & discover to new placesFollowing the previous, since life is short and blablabla, I'm desperate to see more of the world before it's too late. Now I have the freedom, and now I have the physical benefits of being young (if you take a look at my physical condition right now, you will agree with me that it is now or never), so I want to see the world right nów. I love traveling so much that it hurts. I love to learn about other cultures and I love the excitement I feel when I am struck by the natural miracles of planet earth. Even though I was initially thinking about traveling less than last year (because: money), it soon started itching again and I knew for sure that I could not tame my inner desire to see much if not all of the planet we live on. For now I can say that I will go to Rome and most likely Sri Lanka, but there's more on my 2017 To-Travel list that I am hoping on.
- Finish decorating my homeEven though I love traveling, I am very attached to my own home. Being anywhere in the world, I love the idea of having a place to myself somewhere else, where I can always return to. And I always want to return here after being away for a while, until I get that feeling and leave again. Me and Mitchell moved in together last July, but we didn't actually live here until September. All of the necessary furniture is set, but it is still far from perfect - and (stemming from my resolution to decrease procrastination) I want to have my home all finished and done by the end of this year. I want to feel home here and happy and proud to live here. And I'm sure that will help me keeping my house all cleaned up, too!
Some year 2017 is going to be! I'm sure it will be gone in no time. I remember it being Christmas 2015 and now we're here. Crazy! I'm determined to make the best out of it though - I've never felt more conscious about a new year ahead of me. I hope putting all this down here will help me stick to my resolutions & reach my goals. At the same time one should not stick too much to such sayings, as failing to live by them may make one feel disappointed. As long as one pursuits to live by these things, one is by far on the right track.
Let me know about your new year's resolutions and/or goals! ☆☆☆
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